A Parent’s Guide to Teaching Children the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” Method for Self-Defense
As parents, keeping our children safe is our top priority. We do our best to protect them, but the reality is that we can’t be by their side every moment of every day. This is why it’s essential to teach our kids how to protect themselves, especially in potentially dangerous situations. One of the most effective ways to empower children is by teaching them the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method—a simple yet powerful strategy to help them stay safe if they ever find themselves in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation. In this Parent’s Guide to Teaching Children the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” Method for Self-Defense, you will learn an easy, fun and effective way to help your children stay safe.
This method is designed to be easy for children to remember and use. It’s built around four key actions they can take to avoid harm and get help: No, Go, Yell, and Tell. In this blog, we’ll explain what each step entails, how you can teach it to your children, and how to practice it together to ensure it becomes second nature for them.
What Is the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” Method?
The “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method is a child-friendly self-defense strategy that equips children with a straightforward plan to follow if they encounter danger. The method encourages them to:
- No – Say “No” to unwanted attention or actions.
- Go – Get away from the situation as quickly as possible.
- Yell – Make noise to draw attention and deter the potential threat.
- Tell – Find a trusted adult and report what happened immediately.
These four actions give children a sense of control and direction in moments where they might feel scared or unsure of what to do. Your job is to play the role of the abductor trying to lure the child away. Become familiar with common lures used by abductors. Now, obviously you don’t want to scare your child when doing this, but you want to empower them, so it’s a good idea to start out very fun and playful. You can build the intensity of the role-play as the child grows in confidence.
Step 1: Teaching Children to Say “No”
The first step in the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method is empowering children to say “No” confidently and firmly. This is important when someone makes them uncomfortable, invades their personal space, or tries to do something against their will.
How to Teach This:
- Explain Personal Boundaries: Begin by discussing personal boundaries with your child. Explain that everyone has the right to their own body and that it’s okay to say “No” if someone is making them uncomfortable, even if it’s an adult or someone they know. Their goal is to maintain a safe distance and use their voice effectively.
- Practice Saying “No”: Role-play different scenarios where your child might need to say “No.” For example, pretend to be a stranger offering them something or asking them to go somewhere. Teach them to say “No” loudly and confidently, making direct eye contact if possible. If they are quiet say things like “I knew you couldn’t scare me with your little voice”, to encourage a more assertive response. When their voice gets louder give an even bigger reaction than before, to reinforce the correct response in your child.
- Encourage Assertiveness: Remind your child that it’s okay to be assertive and stand up for themselves. Reinforce that saying “No” in these situations is not rude—it’s important for their safety.
Step 2: Teaching Children to “Go”
After saying “No,” the next step is to leave the situation quickly. The goal is to get away from the potential danger as fast as possible and go to a safe place.
How to Teach This:
- Identify Safe Spaces: Talk with your child about safe places they can go to if they feel unsafe. This could be their home, a neighbor’s house, a school, or a well-lit public area. Teach them to always be aware of their surroundings and to know the quickest route to safety.
- Practice Quick Escapes: Role-play situations where your child might need to leave quickly. Act out different scenarios—like a stranger approaching them—and have them practice running to a safe place. Make sure they know to leave behind anything they’re carrying if it slows them down. Emphasize that their safety is the priority.
Step 3: Teaching Children to “Yell”
One of the most effective ways to deter an attacker or draw attention to a dangerous situation is to make noise. Teach your child to yell as loudly as they can when they feel threatened or in danger. You can gamify this by using a decibel meter app on your phone.
How to Teach This:
- Explain the Power of Yelling: Let your child know that yelling is a way to attract attention and scare off a potential threat. Many predators rely on secrecy and don’t want to draw attention to their actions, so a loud, confident yell can be an effective deterrent.
- Teach What to Yell: Practice yelling phrases like “Help!” or “This is not my parent!” to ensure that bystanders understand that the child is in danger and needs assistance.
- Practice Yelling Together: Yelling may feel unnatural to some children, especially if they’re shy. Create a safe environment where they can practice yelling loudly without feeling embarrassed. Make it fun by turning it into a game where they can yell as loudly as possible.
Step 4: Teaching Children to “Tell”
After getting to safety, the final step is to tell a trusted adult what happened. It’s crucial that children understand the importance of reporting any uncomfortable or dangerous situation, no matter how minor it may seem to them.
How to Teach This:
- Identify Trusted Adults: Help your child identify trusted adults in their life, such as parents, teachers, police officers, or neighbors. Make sure they know they can always come to you, no matter what.
- Explain What to Tell: Teach your child to clearly explain what happened, including who was involved, what they said or did, where it happened, and how they felt.
- Reassure Them: Some children might hesitate to tell an adult because they’re afraid they’ll get in trouble or won’t be believed. Reassure your child that they will always be supported and that telling is the right thing to do to keep themselves and others safe.
How to Practice the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” Method
Teaching the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method is just the first step. To ensure that your child can use it effectively, it’s important to practice regularly. Here are some ways you can make this a part of your family’s safety routine:
- Role-Play Scenarios: Set aside time to role-play different situations with your child. These could include a stranger approaching them, a friend pressuring them to do something they don’t want to or feeling uncomfortable at a public event. The more they practice, the more natural these responses will become.
- Trust Your Gut: Sometimes children get a gut feeling that something is not right, but don’t act on it. Reinforce that they must trust themselves when something doesn’t feel right. Let them know that you will not be angry if they were impolite to the stranger and they did the right thing by getting away and coming to tell you.
- Reinforce Through Everyday Situations: Look for opportunities in everyday life to reinforce the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method. For example, if your child says “No” to something, praise their confidence. If they practice yelling during playtime, encourage them to use their loudest voice. The goal is to make these actions feel natural and instinctive.
- Review Regularly: Periodically review the steps with your child to keep them fresh in their mind. Make sure they know what to do and feel confident in their ability to protect themselves if necessary.
The Importance of Communication
One of the most important aspects of teaching the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method is keeping the lines of communication open with your child. Make sure they know they can always come to you if something makes them uncomfortable or if they feel unsafe. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and any situations that make them uneasy, even if nothing bad happened.
By fostering a trusting relationship and teaching them these key steps, you’re not only empowering your child to stay safe, but you’re also giving them the confidence to handle challenging situations in other areas of life.
Final Thoughts on Teaching Children the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” Method for Self-Defense
Teaching your children the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method is an effective and empowering way to prepare them for potentially dangerous situations. This simple, easy-to-remember strategy helps kids understand that they have the power to protect themselves and that it’s okay to assert their boundaries, leave unsafe situations, and seek help.
As parents, we hope our children never have to use these skills but knowing that they’re equipped with the right tools to stay safe can give us peace of mind. Practice regularly, keep communication open, and remind your children that their safety is always the most important thing. With the “No, Go, Yell, Tell” method, you’re helping them build the confidence and awareness they need to navigate the world with a little more safety and security.